Tuesday, April 17, 2007

When Hallmark Writers Have a Bad Day:

Ever wondered what happens when Hallmark writers are having a bad day?


My tire was thumping.
I thought it was flat
When I looked at the tire...
I noticed your cat.

Sorry!

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Heard your wife left you,
How upset you must be.
But don't fret about it...
She moved in with me.

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Congratulations on your wedding day!

Too bad no one likes your husband.

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How could two people as beautiful as you

Have such an ugly baby?

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I've always wanted to have
someone to hold,
someone to love.

After having met you ...
I've changed my mind.

----------------------------------------------------------
I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.

I never believed in Hell until I met you.

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As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...

That you're not here to ruin it for me.

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Congratulations on your promotion.

Before you go...

Would you like to take this knife out of my back?

You'll probably need it again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!

(Available only in Tennessee, Kentucky & West Virginia)

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When we were together,
you always said you'd die for me.

Now that we've broken up,
I think it's time you kept your promise.

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We have been friends for a very long time ..
………let's say we stop?

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I'm so miserable without you
……..it's almost like you're here.


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Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.

Did you ever find out who the father was?

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Your friends and I wanted to do
something special for your birthday.

So we're having you put to sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So your daughter's a hooker,
and it spoiled your day.

Look at the bright side,
it's really good pay.

4 comments:

~Jennifer said...

Oh, those are bad! Funny, but bad. lol

yerdoingitwrong said...

LOVE it. I've seen this via email. I laughed equally hard this time.

Hey, thank you for the sweet emails, btw. Post away in the comment section. I'm in screw em' phase.

xo.

RhythmUnbroken said...

Awesome!!

Flawed & Disorderly said...

Haaaaaaaaa ha ha! I totally missed my calling in life. I'd love to write cards like that. I believe that would sell...to people just like me that are sick and twisted.