Tuesday, April 17, 2007

When Hallmark Writers Have a Bad Day:

Ever wondered what happens when Hallmark writers are having a bad day?

My tire was thumping.
I thought it was flat
When I looked at the tire...
I noticed your cat.



Heard your wife left you,
How upset you must be.
But don't fret about it...
She moved in with me.


Congratulations on your wedding day!

Too bad no one likes your husband.


How could two people as beautiful as you

Have such an ugly baby?


I've always wanted to have
someone to hold,
someone to love.

After having met you ...
I've changed my mind.

I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.

I never believed in Hell until I met you.


As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...

That you're not here to ruin it for me.


Congratulations on your promotion.

Before you go...

Would you like to take this knife out of my back?

You'll probably need it again.


Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!

(Available only in Tennessee, Kentucky & West Virginia)


When we were together,
you always said you'd die for me.

Now that we've broken up,
I think it's time you kept your promise.


We have been friends for a very long time ..
………let's say we stop?


I'm so miserable without you
……..it's almost like you're here.


Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.

Did you ever find out who the father was?


Your friends and I wanted to do
something special for your birthday.

So we're having you put to sleep.


So your daughter's a hooker,
and it spoiled your day.

Look at the bright side,
it's really good pay.


~Jennifer said...

Oh, those are bad! Funny, but bad. lol

yerdoingitwrong said...

LOVE it. I've seen this via email. I laughed equally hard this time.

Hey, thank you for the sweet emails, btw. Post away in the comment section. I'm in screw em' phase.


RhythmUnbroken said...


Flawed & Disorderly said...

Haaaaaaaaa ha ha! I totally missed my calling in life. I'd love to write cards like that. I believe that would sell...to people just like me that are sick and twisted.